As part of my Japanese major, it was a requirement for me to study abroad for at least a semester. When I first saw this requirement, I was initially very excited for this experience! However, as the year came for me to study abroad, I felt a big wave of nervousness rush in. I was, and still am, an individual who has little to no self esteem in myself, and someone who has never been away from family or outside of the states. I have never experienced dorm life or the chance to live on my own, as my family and I saw more benefits of remaining together. On the brighter side, my sister and I did go abroad together given she, too, is a Japanese major.  

 

When studying abroad in Nagasaki, my initial goal was to use Japanese more and to get as much practice as I could in this study abroad experience given I only had 3 months in this program. However, as time went on, I knew that a goal such as that was a lot easier said than done given my temperament. I was someone who was very quiet by nature and had difficulty speaking with others, let alone reaching out. With such a goal, I would grow overwhelmed and would be met with a feeling of guilt and shame if I didn’t muster up any courage in using the language in one day. From these overwhelming feelings, I decided to start little by little and make small micro goals for myself to warm up into the bigger goal of using the language more. Most of these small steps of achievements revolved around stepping out of my comfort zone and interacting with people in my native language and then slowly easing into using Japanese with other Japanese learners. From there, I then tried to reach out and interact with other Japanese students also attending the school. At the end of the experience, I was able to successfully interact with a few students in Japanese, and having a language partner. I found that little steps and progress was better than not using this language and making no progress. 

 

While abroad, I do not believe I experienced culture shocks that affected me negatively. Some common culture shocks such as tipping culture, silence on public transportation, and lack of trash cans on the street were taught in my Japanese class, so I never felt uncomfortable when I was put into those situations. However, two major culture shocks that did affect me in a positive light was having to walk places and the food portions. With walking, I will admit that I disliked having to walk places since I was very accustomed to being driven everywhere by a car. Walking was a turn off for me initially since it was hot and humid when I first arrived in Japan, and I do not do well with warmer weather. As the semester progressed, I was a lot more excited and energized to run out and handle quick errands I needed to do. It got to the point where I would tag along just for the walk and to keep them company despite me not having to buy anything. I learned that Japan is a very walkable country and ensures safety in transportation for the elementary school kids from one of my professors abroad. Students are expected to walk to school in order to gain independence and build a kind of community and trust within the society. Very rarely, if at all do you see parents dropping off their kids from school. My professor abroad stated how since he lived far away, he would drive his daughter up to a certain point and allow her to walk the rest of the way to school with her friends. By the time I returned to the states, it was a little hard for me to readjust to having to rely on car rides for transportation. To ease the reverse culture shock, I go walking with my mom and I have bought a treadmill to continue on this walking hobby. 

 

When it comes to the culture shock in food portion sizes, they were small, but very satisfying. I found more enjoyment having smaller portions rather than bigger sizes like in America. Despite the portions in Japan being small, they are filling and well-balanced, which is something I thoroughly enjoyed. Japan’s meals typically consist of one main dish with many side dishes. For example, the dorm food always consisted of one main meal with rice, soup and salad as the usual sides. Seeing how they incorporated salad, something that is commonly considered as a meal for lunch and dinner in America as a side, I started to incorporate it as a side once I came back to the states. After I eat any kind of meal, I make sure to have a small salad to go with it since I did enjoy having a small salad after eating my main meal at the dorms. Living in Japan helped me learn that not everything I eat has to be in a big portion, and it can be in smaller portions and still make me feel satisfied. I did experience some reverse culture shock coming back due to how big the portion sizes are in America. I find that whenever I’m given a big portion, I’ll eat as much as I can until I’m content, and then save the rest for later. I never feel a need to overfeed myself now like I did before studying abroad. 

 

Academically, studying abroad was very different. Most of my courses only met once a week with the exception of my Japanese class that met tri-weekly. We did not receive much homework either. The homework we were given would be reading or to complete a workbook page before class next week. I was left with a great amount of free time to the point I felt very guilty and lazy not doing anything. I was very accustomed to how homework was at Clemson where I got something every day and was always doing something. Even when I had time between classes, I was doing homework to make sure I didn’t have too much to do by the time I got home and to lessen my homework load. Genuinely speaking, studying abroad made me understand the importance of being able to balance a school life and a social life. It was both odd and comforting seeing everyone commuting in the lobby whenever I came downstairs from my dorm or seeing people socializing in the common area at the university. I found that while I was studying abroad, I would take time in between classes to study as I usually did back at home, or to mentally relax before heading to my next class. After this experience, I don’t feel as bad when it comes to needing a break, and I feel I’m able to detect when I’m reaching burnout sooner. 

 

Overall, this study abroad experience impacted me in much more of a positive light than I expected. Prior to traveling abroad, I did not have a lot of confidence in myself. Although I do still struggle with it after returning to the states, I do feel more comfortable getting out more and trying new experiences if they interest me, and I no longer feel an immense fear in making mistakes. If anything, I accept mistakes with open arms that much more since they’re lessons in growing in bettering myself and learning from these mistakes. I also feel as though I make healthier choices and try to keep up what I learned abroad in my daily life. I’m able to readily form relationships, and I don’t feel as nervous reaching out to people and mustering up a conversation with them as I did prior. Although I will admit that I missed a few opportunities due to leaning away from discomfort rather than leaning into it, I am still glad to have gotten the opportunity to experience the discomfort of trying things and stepping out of my shell than not at all. Truly, if given the chance to return to Nagasaki and study abroad once more, I would accept it with open arms.